His ex still gives him a hard time, but he says that he has moved on. Last week I bought up the subject and the answer wasn’t what I expected.
He told me how great I was and that he loved what we have, but at this time, he didn’t have the capacity to commit to more.
I said that my future husband would just take my car and I would take his.
You don’t sit around for six months waiting to heal. On the other hand, there are a completely different set of emotions surrounding a break-up. Well, it pretty much meant that I got back on JDate, found myself a cool girl a few hours later and was hooking up with her shortly thereafter. Three years later, we’re still friends and grab dinner once a month. This pattern, by the way, continued for a few months (and a few more women), until I was truly and finally “over” my ex. You need to be “over” someone in order to be able to date. When you’re reeling from a break-up, all you can do is RECEIVE. I remember reading once upon a time that people need half the length of the relationship to heal properly. Great blog Evan, I think you are right, you might feel like you want to be in someone elses company, but it´s just not fair on the other person.
And while I WANTED to be ready to date, and definitely had the online dating skill set to be ready to date, I was not emotionally ready to date. But I never gave her the opportunity she deserved to have all of me. If you were together for two years, you need one year of healing. I’d probably say it’s closer to one-tenth of the time. At the moment I am kind of in that position (on the recieving end) and I am treading carefully and so is the guy, since his 4 year rel ended over xmas, and he is just putting the pieces back together.
Do you still want to get back together with your ex? You see how all of these things can radically impact your decision as to when to get back out there? I couldn’t convince her to take me back, so I did what I do best – I went back online – literally MINUTES after I returned home from the teary breakup.
And I don’t know the first thing about you or your individual circumstances. Now, in some respects, this made sense, in that I wasn’t going wallow in misery and think about what I did wrong or how I could fix things.
Lately I’ve also notice that when we talk about things like houses and cars he uses ‘us’ and ‘we.’ For example, I am considering purchasing a new car (sports).